The child will continue to misbehave because punishment will seem unavoidable. A child who is punished frequently each day will learn to feel that he or she is a bad person. Do not change your mind about what should be punished from day to day, but make sure that you do not have a long list of behaviors that require punishment. For punishment to work, it must IMMEDIATELY follow the misbehavior. Punish immediately and consistently, but not frequently.If your child needs to be punished more than a few times per day, this may be an indication that you are expecting a little too much, and you should remove the most difficult rules until the child can master the easier rules. Do not change the rules from day to day, but add rules gradually as the child seems to be able to keep them well. Let the child know immediately when one of these rules has been broken. Repeat the rules often, and praise the child for obeying them. Decide which rules are most important to you, and make sure that your child understands them. Establish a few firm rules that your child can understand.Keep these special play times brief, and give the child praise for "working" well alone. Select a few special or interesting toys that your child can play with alone and bring these out only at times when you need a few minutes to do a chore or make a telephone call, etc. Provide a special box of toys for independent play.For example, if your child gets very irritable near meal times, you might want to bring out an interesting toy just before you are ready to serve the meal. If you know that your child becomes very difficult in certain situations or during certain activities, try to think about what you can do to avoid this ahead of time. Make sure to select toys that are not only child-safe, but easy to pick up when it is time to leave. When you know you are going to a place or event where your child is likely to misbehave, make sure to bring a small bag of interesting toys to keep the child entertained. Prepare ahead for difficult situations.Young children tend to act on what they heard last, and the may not think about the "Don’t" at the beginning of your sentence until they have already acted on the last part of what you said. (e.g., say "Put the doll in the toy box, " instead of "Don’t leave the doll on the floor " and say "STOP!" instead of "Don’t run!"). Say what the child SHOULD do, not what NOT to do. Give each instruction as a statement, not in a questioning voice (e.g., say "Pick up the toys," not "Can you pick up the toys?"). Make sure to have eye-contact with the child when giving an instruction. Look for ways to encourage your child to succeed at positive behavior, and promptly reward his or her attempts.
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